tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125232072011-07-26T03:24:52.397+08:00Peace'h... Name's Ablazed... My hombres call me Freddie.. My traceurs call me Shoshi... Grew up in St John, Newfoundland... Came over to Singapore to study after 7... I'm a Film, Sound and Video student now... I'm also a servant of God in Brighton Youth and I certainly hope to see you there too... Just hop by Singapore Post centre 5th level around 3.30pm on Saturdays and check us out...Shoshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14162308588701640950noreply@blogger.comBlogger161100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12523207.post-1130267082144085372005-10-26T03:00:00.000+08:002005-10-26T03:04:42.200+08:00"Gone away far from home, the weekend’s over...<br />Let’s pack up and start again...<br />Two days on the road, just left Newfoundland...<br />With eight to go...<br /><br />I just called my mom to tell her I miss her...<br />I wanna write to her...<br />Man I can’t remember the last time I saw her...<br />Soon I’ll be at home with all the people...<br />After ten days...<br /><br />I turn around, face the crowd...<br />I'm starting over...<br />This time from rock bottom...<br />Once again here I am...<br />It’s a new beginning...<br />I’d live this life any day...<br /><br />I feel so alive, though a part of me is gone...<br />And this life I lead, is the life I’ve dreamed of...<br />Since I was the age of twelve...<br />Now I’ll sing with all this is within me...<br />After ten days on the road...<br /><br />Lights do down the noise has faded...<br />I leave this town anticipated...<br />Soon we’ll be back on the road again...<br />All is lost, but not forgotten...<br />One by one the fights we’ve fought...<br />Soon we’ll be back on the road again...<br />For ten days..."<br /><br /><br />Check me out personally when you're free... Guess I'm not much with bloggin' and stuff... Guess I'm changin'... I prefer to keep stuff to myself... I'm more sensitive to noise now... More secluded... I don't know what's happenin'... Maybe just some emotional changes, or some hormonal effects people say, but sure not mood swings caused by menses... Well... That's all I think... I'm still fine...<br /><br />Keep Believin'<br />Peace'h<br /><br />Shoshi<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/12523207-113026708214408537?l=perspectyves.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shoshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14162308588701640950noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12523207.post-1126902024097786452005-09-17T04:30:00.000+08:002005-09-17T04:20:24.136+08:00<img src="http://www.geocities.com/surfer133/SamuraiConfrontation.jpg"><br /><br />"I have no parents; I make the <B>Heavens and the Earth</B> my Parents.<br />I have no home; I make the <B>Tan T'ien</B> my home. <br />I have no divine power; I make <B>Honesty</B> my Divine Power. <br />I have no means; I make <B>Docility</B> my Means. <br />I have no magic power; I make <B>Personality</B> my Magic Power. <br />I have neither life nor death; I make <B>A Um</B> my Life and Death. <br /><br />I have no body; I make <B>Stoicism</B> my Body. <br />I have no eyes; I make <B>The Flash of Lightning</B> my Eyes. <br />I have no ears; I make <B>Sensibility</B> my Ears. <br />I have no limbs; I make <B>Promptitude</B> my Limbs. <br />I have no laws; I make <B>Self-Protection</B> my Laws. <br /><br />I have no strategy; I make the <B>Right to Kill and the Right to Restore Life</B> my Strategy. <br />I have no designs; I make <B>Seizing the Opportunity by the Forelock</B> my Designs. <br />I have no miracles; I make <B>Righteous Laws</B> my Miracle. <br />I have no principles; I make <B>Adaptability to all circumstances</B> my Principle. <br />I have no tactics; I make <B>Emptiness and Fullness</B> my Tactics.<br /><br />I have no talent; I make <B>Ready Wit</B> my Talent. <br />I have no friends; I make <B>my Mind</B> my Friend. <br />I have no enemy; I make <B>Incautiousness</B> my Enemy. <br />I have no armour; I make <B>Benevolence</B> my Armour. <br />I have no castle; I make <B>Immovable Mind</B> my Castle. <br />I have no sword; I make <B>No Mind</B> my Sword. "<br /><br /><br />The Samurai Creed is what I've held with great respect for a very long time... I saw this when I was fliping through my pile of stuff at one corner of my room today... It was in Japanese... Lucky thing there is some good soul who invented translators that are free online...<br />Look at the words of precision they are written in... Talking about who they are, what they are made of and why they exist for... The words of total concentration, total determination and total sacrifice... <br />It is just similar to what Jesus require of us... Similar... To Deny ourselves and Pick up the Cross daily and Follow Him...<br />Many weeks have passed and lots of stuff went by... And I've learrned 1 big thing... Submission... Not homework but other stuff... 3 other stuff... <br />One: To Leaders... Just like how Samurais give their all to their feudal lords...<br />Two: God's Plan... Don't rush things out... What you wanna do may not be what God wants you to do...<br />Three: Parents... They gave u everything you have... Don't they deserve just a little of your prideful respect?<br /><br />To end off... I think, One who is all words in what they know may never be always wise, it's how people read their actions that shows their wisdom...<br /><br />Reap And Sow,<br />Shoshi...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/12523207-112690202409778645?l=perspectyves.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shoshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14162308588701640950noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12523207.post-1124724607795601642005-08-25T12:00:00.000+08:002005-08-26T00:10:13.210+08:00<img src="http://www.geocities.com/surfer133/guitar.gif"><br /><br />"This is the day of dryness<br />Uncomforting wilderness<br />I need your rain to fall<br />I need your living water<br /><br />This is the day of solitude<br />Hiding my face in the multitude<br />I need your grace to come<br />I need your presence now<br /><br />Lord, be my cornerstone<br />You be my firm foundation<br />Mighty strong tower"<br /><br /><br />Then the man said, "Lord, I believe," and he worshipped him. - John 9:38<br /><br />Believe and worshipped with the heart...<br /><br /><br /><br />Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe." - John 20:27<br /><br />Believe and not doubt...<br /><br /><br /><br />And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. - 1 John 3:23<br /><br />Believe and love...<br /><br /><br /><br />I believed; therefore I said, "I am greatly afflicted." - Psalm 116:10<br /><br />Believe even when in times of suffering...<br /><br /><br /><br />Then Jesus said to the centurion, "Go! It will be done just as you believed it would." And his servant was healed at that very hour. - Matthew 8:13<br /><br />Believe and it shall happen...<br /><br /><br /><br />If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." - Matthew 21:22<br />Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. - Mark 11:24<br /><br />Believe and your prayers shall be answered...<br /><br /><br /><br />Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, "Don't be afraid; just believe." - Mark 5:36<br /><br />Believe without fear...<br /><br /><br /><br />" 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes." - Mark 9:23<br /><br />Believe and impossible is nothing...<br /><br /><br /><br />"I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. - Mark 11:23<br /><br />Believe and the mountains shall be moved...<br /><br /><br /><br />And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; - Mark 16:17<br /><br />Believe and you shall be demon chasers and tongue speakers...<br /><br /><br /><br />Hearing this, Jesus said to Jairus, "Don't be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed." - Luke 8:50<br /><br />Believe and healing will take its place...<br /><br /><br /><br />Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God - John 1:12<br /><br />Believe and you will be heirs of God...<br /><br /><br /><br />That everyone who believes in him may have eternal life. - John 3:15<br />"I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life. - John 5:24<br />I tell you the truth, he who believes has everlasting life. - John 6:47<br />Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; - John 11:25<br /><br />Believe and you will live life eternal...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. - John 3:18<br /><br />Believe and live a life uncondemned...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. - John 6:35<br /><br />Believe and you will be filled...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." - John 7:38<br /><br />Believe and living waters will flow from within...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" - John 11:40<br /><br />Believe and see the glory of God...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. - John 12:46<br /><br />Believe and live life out of darkness...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household." - Acts 16:23<br /><br />Believe and be saved...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder. - James 2:19<br /><br />Believe for even demons believe that there is only one...<br /><br /><br /><br />Are these promises not enough to believe? He works wonders... He fills the vacuum in your heart... He hears... Are these not enough?<br /><br /><br />I believe and I worship... Now I want to love...<br /><br />Shoshi [ Love will make you beautiful ]<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/12523207-112472460779560164?l=perspectyves.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shoshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14162308588701640950noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12523207.post-1123701033992226702005-08-11T04:00:00.000+08:002005-08-11T03:48:45.263+08:00<img src="http://www.geocities.com/surfer133/wings.jpg"><br /><br />"Every morning there’s a warning that you follow<br />It's gettin' harder you know<br />To fill the moments of the morning<br />They’re so hollow<br />Fill up on empty and go<br /><br />And every morning there’s a brokenness you swallow<br />You try to let go<br />Of every warning that your wanting, want to follow?<br />Your signs are startin' to show<br /><br />And for tomorrow there’s a bottom of a bottle<br />It's gettin' harder you know<br />To dry the problem at the bottom of a bottle<br />Before it's out of control<br /><br />I can see it in your eyes<br />You were made to overcome<br />I can see it in your eyes<br />You were made to rise above<br />I can see it in your eyes<br />So take these wings and fly"<br /><br /><br /><br />God's word speaks... I really thank those who persecute me... Without all the comments and curses they made, I won't be who I am right now... I dread to go to school and face hypocrites everyday... I dread to even wake up... But this great shift of perspective made me realized that all the more I should go and face the persecutions...<br /><br />I wake up in the morning, thinkin' of what people are gonna to say if I wear this or that, what people are gonna do behind my back... I feel so much empty... I feel so bad... But who cares...? All I need to know is, Mr Bright Morning Star is walkin' right here beside me... He goes everywhere I go... He sees everything I see... I knows every part of me that's feelin' bad... He rejoices when I'm happy... All I gotta do is to fill myself up with the promises He has made to me...<br /><br />Well... Brokenness, emptiness, warnings, curses and ignorance are all but the same... I'll just do as I believe... I dress weird... I like to appear in shorts... I wear funny stuff like beanies that makes me look like a thug... I love to read my Bible... I've got a funny accent... I wear tracks with my shorts... I love to talk... I am LOUD...! What' else is there to say about...? I've said them all by myself already...<br /><br />I've got lots of flaws... I know them... And I'm doin' stuff to help myself... But do you realize the log in your eyes even before you try to remove the speck in mine? Are you gonna help yourself...?<br /><br />I looked myself in the mirror... I'm not attractive... I'm not ugly either... I've got weird hair... Weird voice... Weird face... Weird Teeth... Weird face... I'm just an average guy who does special things...<br /><br />Then I took a peep on the inside of me... My heart is sentient... It is red and alive... It is pumpin' blood that came by the land of the livin'... It wants to reach out... Reach out to everyone... It's a heart that wants to touch another... My mind is totally compos mentis... It is in the right frame... It is lucid... It is all there... It's just that both of them are not sought to be understood...<br /><br />You don't have to like me or accept me or even understand me... I'm alright by myself... God saw that in my eyes... And I saw that too... I can overcome... I can rise above... Just like what He said... Just take care of yourself first before you even take a look at others...<br /><br />Why not take a look into yourself...? Take a new perspective... Just love the people around you with all you have... Love will make you beautiful...<br /><br /><br /><br />End Note...<br />One day spent in your house, this beautiful place of worship,<br />Beats thousands spent on Greek island beaches.<br />I'd rather scrub floors in the house of my God<br />Than be honored as a guest in the palace of sin.<br /> Psalm 84:10<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/12523207-112370103399222670?l=perspectyves.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shoshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14162308588701640950noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12523207.post-1123095494473473062005-08-04T03:00:00.000+08:002005-08-04T02:58:42.363+08:00"It's just the state of affection<br />Just need something to cure the infection<br />I don't want to be your misconception<br />No, no, don't want to break the connection"<br /><br /><br />I love God... and I love everyone around me... But it doesn't seem so for you out there... I don't know why... You don't understand me either... I need a change... I need a cure... I don't want to live like that; without people... Everyone seems so far away...<br /><br /><br />"It's just the pent up agression<br />That drives me into this direction<br />If I had to ask just one question<br />"Oh no, how come they don't listen?"<br /><br /><br />I hold a gun deep inside... I don't want to let it slide... Sometimes I feel so violent towards myself... I hate myself... Why must I grow to be so selfish? Why don't you understand me? Why is it always me tryin' to understand you? Must I be the one who always make the compromise?<br /><br /><br />"I don't want to slip, I don't want to fall,<br />I don't want to care, or be here at all,<br />I don't want to crash, I don't want to burn<br />I don't want to forget what I've learned"<br /><br /><br />I don't want to curse, or swear, or have vulgarities plagueing my mouth... I don't want to do things that are not in line with my belief... I don't want to backslide or anything... I've made enough mistakes... i don't want to be back there to ground zero again...<br /><br /><br />"Sometimes I don't hate but I want to<br />Blinded by the reason I found You<br />It's just a feeling I get when I'm around You<br />Can you relate to what I'm goin' through?"<br /><br /><br />Lord, You sought me as I sought a way out... I feel so left out till I found You... I feel so dry without You... Help me with this... I don't know what is goin' on in You... I don't know what is goin' on in me... But can you feel what I'm goin' through?<br /><br /><br />How much farther will I get?<br />Man, I feel like such a moving target<br />How many times will I slip before I find it?<br />Until then I guess I'll just keep climbing<br /><br /><br />You threw me so deep into the valley... This deep valley of brokenness... It just seem like every step I take, I'll be movin' back down... Everytime something that I did was right and I feel You so much closer, arrows just hit me and made me step back and away from You... I don't know how long this is goin' to take... I don't know how much tougher this is goin' to get... I don't know what will come after this... All I can do now is to cling onto the steps You gave... and continue...<br /><br /><br />"I'm a stranger that no one can see<br />A stranger to every part of me<br />I'm a stranger to all that I know<br />A stranger, everywhere I go"<br /><br /><br />Believers, non-believers... I feel so left out like a stranger in this world from them... Everything I do, every word I say, people are bound to comment... People are bound to strike... My presence seems not to be noticed or even felt by people... All I once knew... All I once had... All I once thought about... They are gettin' all so distant from me... People give me strange eyes... They give me weird snares... I feel so much a stranger everywhere I go...<br /><br /><br />"It's so hard when you're outcast<br />Heaven help me find my way<br />And it's so hard 'cause I'm an outcast<br />Heaven help me feel o.k."<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/12523207-112309549447347306?l=perspectyves.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shoshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14162308588701640950noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12523207.post-1121156616825070622005-07-12T15:41:00.000+08:002005-07-12T16:23:37.800+08:00"When I wander through the desert<br />And I'm longin' for my home<br />All my dreams have gone astray<br /><br />When I'm stranded in the valley<br />And I'm tired and all alone<br />It seems like I've lost my way<br /><br />I go runnin' to Your mountain<br />Where your mercy sets me free<br /><br />In the middle of my darkness<br />In the midst of all my fear<br />You're my refuge and my hope<br /><br />When the storm of life is raging<br />And the thunder's all I hear<br />You speak softly to my soul<br /><br />You are my strong tower<br />Shelter over me<br />Beautiful and mighty<br />Everlasting King<br /><br />You are my strong tower<br />Fortress when I'm weak<br />Your name is true and holy<br />And Your face is all I seek"<br /><br />I'm wanderin' through the desert of my life right now; alone and tired... Loneliness can really overwhelm you when people around you don't treat you with the respect of who you really are... I'm real tired; both physically and mentally because of intolerance of the thing the people, whom I once thought I knew, are doin'... And the amount of sleep I get... <br /><br />I was sick recently for quite a few days for those who didn't know... That's why some of you may think I've got a serious attitude problem... Or fault me in not growin' spiritually... Tell you what you need to know... I'm quite regular in my time spent with God... And it's not a routine for me... it's my lifestyle... God is still my only priority... Some of you who read this may think that it's prideful... But this is my turn to make a rebuttal for the judgements people have made upon me...<br /><br />I've got a problem with authority and ill respect... I don't like to be looked at or commanded at... I get very affected by that... I dress my own way... Just like you dress your own... Not that I have eight limbs and four eyes and talk like a bird or anything... I'm just dress my own way... Don't judge me by that... You don't even know me... I'm a guy who work by mutual respect... If you respect me, I'll give you the respect you deserve... I don't deem you as redundant if you don't treat me as worthless... I like win-win situations... That's why I stand by no compromises...<br /><br />I don't mind you insulting' my dress code, my mannerism, my speech, my actions or even what I love... I'll just give thanks for you persecutin' me... You may think that I'm psychotic or something... But bear in mind... Do unto others what you want others to do unto you... Don't let it happen to you the same way... I pray for you that you may see things how I see... I pray that you will accept me because you see the differences we have and not the similarities... 'coz being with people of the same kind doesn't expose you much,,, it's when people of different minds come together then there will be growth...<br /><br />I'm weak from all the fiery arrows... But I'm made stronger than before by my Fortress... The awesome God that gave me more than enough... makin' me more than a conqueror... How cool is that? I'm rejoicing in suffering... just like James said in his first chapter, verses 2 to 4.<br /> "Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything." [New Living Translation]<br /><br />Well... Perspective matters... Don't judge before you act... Think, rethink... then wait, see and look... then act... then you judge the end result... Long process... but it just takes a few second... Ask yourself... Do you see the bright light in the midst of the darkness you are in?<br /><br />Being temerarious,<br />Shoshi<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/12523207-112115661682507062?l=perspectyves.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shoshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14162308588701640950noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12523207.post-1120670982583008962005-07-07T01:30:00.000+08:002005-07-08T14:31:10.113+08:00"Someday I'm gonna go out to the country...<br />I'll drive 'til the highway ends...<br />Chasin' after pictureque sunsets...<br />That will take away my breath<br /><br />The open road can be so lonely<br />I'm longin' for someone to love me<br />If only I could share my new surroundings<br />Open the doors above<br /><br />I'm tired of livin' in the city<br />The world's got me tied on a string...<br />Wanderlust has ovecome me...<br />Back to my home, I'll be...<br /><br />The Lord called me on...<br />Where no one else has gone...<br />Faith keep me strong...<br />Love lead me on..."<br /><br />Confession One: I like this girl more and more, but she will never be my companion I guess...<br />Confession Two: I'm tired of this world where people dont' really get my denotative thoughts...<br />Confession Three: I may seem to be proud and stuff... But all I want to do is help...<br />Confession Four: I feel very left out by people from all around and it makes me even more so want to leave them out of my world...<br />Confession Five: I'm gettin' more and more intolerant to things that are stupid in the eyes of God... And I'm not judgin'... i'm sensing...<br />Confession Six: Nothing really matters to me except God now... I don't care what all of you think about me or my God but this is how I want to live for Him as my only priority... <br />Confession Seven: You can call me a lone ranger or anything... But tell you what... If you work with me, I can work with you... Even though I prefer to work alone... An extra pair of hands can be better...<br />Confession Eight: A lot of time I want to give you people up and just head my way... Not that I want to be a groupie but I have to...<br />Confession Nine: I can't seem to love people who wronged me but I've been tryin' my best to pray about them...<br />Confession Ten: I love my God and I will not give another compromise to exchange anything of His for anything other stuff and this includes school... <br /><br /><br />I'm very upset that I've got christians who think that school is more important than God... Why? The chance to school is also provided by God, ain't it? Although we are called to be students, time reserved for God is still time for God... How can we exchange it to do schoolwork? This is unreasonable and atrocious... Time for God is reserved, not leftovers... I want him to have reserved time for me and not leftovers... Anyway, He won't be able to have leftover time... Do unto others what you want others to do unto you... I hate it... I can't go to church this sunday because of some vacuous video project... Not that I'm being proud that I know how to do it... I'm not that good at it also... But I don't want to exchange anytime with God for any other things... One day in the house of God is better than a thousand days doing things you like...<br /><br />Schoolwork aside... Well... The next thing on my mind is this girl... Though I said in my last perspective that I've already given them all to God... But I still wanna talk about it... It's just so coincidental... So dramatic... So surreal... Yet so it happened so real... I grew up in the same church and never got to know her... I only got to know her through my primary school friend a yearr ago... Seemed to be something people call 'fate' that let us know each other.. but on the other hand, that doesn't really exist... We became kinda like good friends... I'm not sure if she thinks of it this way also... <br />But anyway... I'm just tryin' to think simple... So let it be... Well... now I start to miss and like her more and more... It's this unnamed kinda emotion... I also can't really describe it... So I thought, blame the hormones... Haha... But nothing of that sort I think... I think it's real... Now that I think it's real, it's really kinda hard to talk also...<br />Tell you all another truth about me... I'm really kinda shy and quiet about this kinda stuff... So I don't dare to tell or even act... Well... I think it's typical of me... I'm brought up in a culture that respect girls as girls... Whom are ought to be loved and cared; whom guys are supposed to protect; whom guys ought to respect for they suffer a lot... <br />Well... I kept silent till now... I really feel uttterly awkward... I'm not sure to talk or not to talk to her also... If I stop, something fishy is really goin' on... If I do talk, I don't know what to say... Haha... And I just start to blabber all kinda stuff... It makes me feel like I've got shit for brains... Haha... I just don't understand all these stuff going on...<br />Well... I think I should just stop here...<br /><br />To the leaders: If you see this article, well I'm ready to answer to it...<br />To the people out there: These are my perspective, you can criticise any of them... No matter what... I thank you...<br />To that special lady: If you know who you are, please just act as though nothing happened... I'll feel real embarrassed<br /><br /><br />愛は私を導く、<br />ウサギ<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/12523207-112067098258300896?l=perspectyves.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shoshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14162308588701640950noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12523207.post-1120540416315436382005-07-05T13:15:00.000+08:002005-07-05T13:15:28.216+08:00"Once there was a young kid,<br />Walking alone in the lonely street...<br />Into his life came a slient mover,<br />One girl that he came to love...<br /><br />Time passed, they never did talk...<br />Weeks passed, they never really met...<br />Years past, they never knew about the existence of each other...<br /><br />He left the church and they each went their own way...<br />To different homes, to different schools, to different nations...<br />Never did he know that they will be able to meet again...<br />That only happened when four years had past...<br /><br />He walked the streets looking for her...<br />He bought gifts that were never given...<br />He wrote letters never to be sent...<br />He even tore air tickets just to avoid the shame he might face...<br /><br />Silent mover and the silent seeker...<br />Both of different fate and life...<br />One who live a life filled with people...<br />One led it mostly by himself..."<br /><br />This is the start of the life of me, Shoshi, in Singapore... I was the undeniable outcast of every group there ever was... Even up till now, I'm still all alone... I can tell you truthfully, I am a lonely guy... But somehow, people just like to put it as me being a loner; not wanting to mix with them... I need to confess that... It's no big deal to me... I only want to have friends that last not friends that come by only when help is needed... Hate me, curse me if you want to... It doesn't do anything to me... I'll just say "Thank You" back to you...<br /><br />Lives come and go by my life... Looking at it, it's normal... I never had friends that last that long... Except for the few who are true... And two that I came to love... My best friend, Jesus... and the other I would want to have as my lifetime companion... But I guess it'll never really come true...<br /><br />People say I'm good with girls... The fact is, I'm not... I'm kinda shy when it comes to this... But looking at another perspective, unless you open up, if not you won't be able to live it up... <br /><br />Anyway... back to Jesus I guess... I commit my life again to You... You take charge of it... I let go of any relationship matters... I'm in poly to study Dude... Help me here... Dude... I know You are there... but can You just do something here... I don't want to attract attention to make friends... And I don't want to be outcast by people... Right now the whole of my class is at the other end of the tutorial room chit chatting... And I'm right here talking to You... Why Dude? Help me with it... Because I believe You will help...<br /><br />Believe,<br />Shoshi<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/12523207-112054041631543638?l=perspectyves.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shoshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14162308588701640950noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12523207.post-1119030707816613282005-06-18T02:03:00.000+08:002005-06-18T01:51:47.820+08:00"Ask me what's the coolest thing I've done this week...<br />And I'll tell you my whole week...<br />Ask me who are the coolest people I've met...<br />I'll tell you all who I've met...<br />Ask me how's my life so far...<br />The fact is life is hard...<br />But my perspective, Life is Hard, But Happy..."<br /><br />Guess why I'm gettin' all wax lyrical this time around in my rhetoric... 'Coz I've just gott back from a gatherin' of a whole long while to come... I met up with 10 of my primary school mates and my form teacher in my final years there... There was Jiakhee [Thanks for organizing it], WanQing, Syahidah, YengSiew, Willian, Rasydin, Jason, QingXiong, JunYuan and of course Miss Judy Song... It was slammin'... We talked and joked so much... Criticized each other... All the crap and bull we have kept for so long are finally out... We were maaking so much noise at Plaza Singapura's Pizza Hut, and bothering so many people to take photo for us... How else can it get better...? It was indescribable... Undeniably slammin'...!<br /><br />Thursday marked the start of Soul Revolution Conference at Cornerstone Church... Was so tired after school but rushed down to see what I can do with the energy I had... Bothering people, joking around and spicing everyone up for the occasion was tough... Especially you are to take care of the youth group... and I thank God it's not the whole youth group present, but I wished they were all there... They missed one good mesage... Anyway, I also met some people I've long seen... People from Church Of Singapore [Bukit Timah]... Haha... John, Jason, Steff, XiaoShi, WanPing, RiXiang, Lopez and of course Pastor Daniel Cheo... People from Cornerstone... Andrew, Joy, and every other people I met... Too many names already... Emmanuel Assembly... St. Hilda... All of the cool people are in the east side churches... <br /><br />Anyway... Today's the last day... I want to see hundreds or even thousands of aimless youths wandering the streets see Christ today... I want to plunder hell and populate Heaven like Reinhard Bonnke... I want to bring even strangers in the streets up to Heaven with me... I've done my part in inviting people... But till now no one responded positively yet... I'm not disappointed... I know I've gotta wait for God's timing... And I know I have sown the seeds... Now it's time for the Holy Spirit to do His work... Haha... Can't believe I'm still preparing for the worship that I'll be playing in later in the morning... Not that I'm nervous... But I want to give God my best 'coz He gave me everything I have...<br /><br />Cat: You won't believe what happened this past week to me... I know you are stressed abt your coming exams... But fear not ya? I was doing my grammar test and I only answered six questions out of ten... One of which needs grading... I accidentally pressed the 'Enter' and submitted my test... Thank God I got 5 questions right for the five that have got fixed answers... isn't it miraculous? I didn't even really studied... Not that I'm discouraging you to stop studying... But God sees your effort and He will reward you accordingly... Miss ya...<br /><br />Gotta head for bed... I've got only 3 more hours to sleep and wake up to give my best to God... Rock on...<br /><br />Shoshi<br />Life is Hard, but Happy...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/12523207-111903070781661328?l=perspectyves.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shoshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14162308588701640950noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12523207.post-1118068217348855432005-06-06T22:29:00.000+08:002005-06-06T22:30:17.460+08:00"Walking alone on the way back home,<br />Gazing at the stars staring back at me on this empty road.<br /><br />Lost in the midst of this concrete jungle,<br />Didn't know the way back to the place I call home.<br /><br />Lonliness just passed me by,<br />Like no one knew that I just cried.<br />Left behind in this deceit-filled world,<br />The only option I have is to be better off alone."<br /><br /><br />I had a pretty bad day to me and how I hope it was a blessing in disguise. I woke up almost late for school. After I got ready for school, I tried to give my hair some rearrangement but ended up like crap so I let it be. Rushed to the MRT station with the weather getting all windy. Took the second train which came like seven minutes after I missed the first. Reached school but wasn't on time for my lecture. How else can it be worse?<br /><br />Had multiple SMSes coming in and couldn't really concentrate. I don't mind that but I also had umpteen phone calls which eventually I picked up one. I was darn fed up at that moment when everything was so darn unreasonable, asking me to confirm the people going for camp when I can't get in contact with them. I'm having a lesson, what do you expect? Moreover the attitude was bad, and never even said a word of goodbye before hanging up.<br /><br />My leave for camp which is this Thursday onwards wasn't approved and I haven't receive anymore news about it since then. I'm like so turned off now for skipping school for camp. Just because there will be not enough people there running the camp does not mean I have to sacrifice my attendance to help out. Though it demands commitment, but not everyone is doing it, so why should I? <br /><br />Logistics timing was a mistake yesterday, I do admit some of the fault was mine. But there wasn't any cooperation, was there? I'm not to be fully blamed also. Why is everyone getting angry with me and ostracizing me? I'm like the one being pushed around here and no one knows how I feel. Complain all you want about me please if that makes you all the more happy. I'm right here receiving all the shit you people give me while I'm juggling my heavy schoolwork. And you guys are telling me how busy you are when you guys can have good night sleeps when I'm only having less than 10 hours of sleep last week. Who knows how I feel? You guys get to rant and order me around while I keep quiet about it... And when I only show a little of attitude, I get all the complains and overwhelming attitude for you all. What is fair about it? I feel so much like a slave.<br /><br />I know I should do things without complain. But... I like to serve but not serve man. I like to serve God, because it's enjoyable. Not to be pushed around. I want an exit permit to this crap.<br /><br />Shoshi<br />Fixed perception? Stereotyping it will be...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/12523207-111806821734885543?l=perspectyves.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shoshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14162308588701640950noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12523207.post-1117465744966811562005-05-30T23:31:00.000+08:002005-05-30T23:09:04.983+08:00"Words hang on the walls without a sound...<br />But making their point with a big loud shout...<br />Looking at the colours all over them...<br />Experiencing what they feel without contempt..."<br /><br />I did a graffiti on my drawing block today... I wanted to vent some unnamed emotions out of me... Ended up drawing some crap which made a little sense... At first I was so frustrated... I drew crap like "DIE"... Haha... I was so not satisfied with it that I drew on it somemore... and slowly something chrtistian came outta me... I ended up with "Holy Reverence"... Haha.. How slammin' is the wonder of our God...?<br /><br />I mean, after all the things I experienced internally [emotionally] today, I finally conclude that guys can get moody also... Haha... How enlightening... To tell the truth, it's my usual problems with girls again... Haha... Not that I'm that attractive or that good with them, but well... Guys are still guys... Thank God I overcame it...<br /><br />Well... I think we ought to always come to God with gradtitude in whichever circumstances... Look at this... He is always there to hold you up when you are down... He is the comforter always... The healer always... And if you didn't experience that... He sure died for us...<br /><br />I am listening to some praise songs now... Ranging from the 'newer' Hillsong United, to the middle where 'contemporary' Matt Redman, Tim Hughes and Chris Tomlin is, all the way to the 'ancient' Ron Kenoly, Don Moen and Kent Henry... I mean, why are there so many genre within the genre of Gospel... Why do people choose to sing songs like 'One Way', 'Tell the World' and 'Now That You're Near' more passionately...? I'm nto against any Christian Band or whatsoever, but is it just the music that makes the worship? The catchy lyrics that keeps on repeating itself in the song for ten whole minutes? <br /><br />Tae a walk on my perspective... Genuine worship is between only God and us alone... God as the audience and us as the sole worshipper... Genuine worship is about giving God what we have prepared to offer to him... It's not our preference that He wants... It's not the songs that we want to sing because it sounds nice that He wants from us... Worship is about singing to God the songs that He wants to hear... Not some 'This Is How We Overcome' crap... Sing something that represents your feelings to Him... Not some catchy song or jsut because they sound nice... Now that's not worship... That's total crap... Sorry that I'm blunt... But these just get on my nerves when I see people singing songs for their pleasure and when worship is about brringing God pleasure...<br /><br />Total shitnaz worship is when you enter the realm of the Holies, and you dancing in the presence of God, soaking yourself up... That's where you will feel the intimacy of the relationship of you and God... Isn't it slammin'...?<br /><br />Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. -Psalm 84:10-<br /><br />Shoshi<br />Start Belieivng<br />'coz Perspectives Change Lives<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/12523207-111746574496681156?l=perspectyves.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shoshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14162308588701640950noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12523207.post-1117205198136931322005-05-27T22:10:00.000+08:002005-05-27T22:46:38.146+08:00"On broken wings I'm falling, But it won't be long...<br />The skin of me is burning by the fires of the sun...<br />On scarred knees i'm bleeding but it won't be long...<br />I gotta find that meaning in a search for so long..."<br /><br />Week's been tough... Had my internet back up, but had little chance to be in it... Look at it peeps... What an irony in life this is... Anyway... I'm struggling to keep peace in myself... being the noisy me again, I annoyed a few people, entertained a few... trying to maintain a balance in life between my friends and my stand... Must be fair to God ya?<br /><br />Tutorials are like revision sessions for me for now... Boring by a little, but still gotta be humble to learn... that's what I've learnt in the week... I helped everyone along someway or another I think... I'm happy that I did those stuff... Didn't waste my week with regrets... Art was fun... with all the jokes and drawings... it was just slammin'! Can't get into tennis for Sports and Wellness... ended up in old school styler... Touch Rugby... Haha... way slammin' ya? back to the old time mud and slides... Decided to play canoe polo as a CCA, and I may be playing with NUS one day... Haha... either with or against them... How cool is that?<br /><br />Today was bad... Went back to school for a supposedly equipment, ended up wasting time there loitering, rotting and not to mention photostating books... And Cat, your church mate Michelle is my tutorial group mate... And Michelle introduced me to Amanda, who looks kinda familiar, who studies in Singapore Poly... haha... What a same world ain't it?<br /><br />I'm so darn tired now... I can't go on... Continue tomorrow i guess... I'll be teaching drums tomorrow morning as usual... hectic life... but rewarding... haha... cheers...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/12523207-111720519813693132?l=perspectyves.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shoshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14162308588701640950noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12523207.post-1116032821600251992005-05-14T09:06:00.000+08:002005-05-14T10:32:33.353+08:00Tuesday, 10 May<br />Signed up to the dumb Starhub promo which provided the same transfer rate as my current SingNet one... Only that they gave more bandwidth and also because they support Macintosh... Dumb Mr Starhub scheduled the installation to be in Thursday but I was only free on Wednesday and Friday... So he said he'll call back to confirm... Poor Shoshi sat there waiting and waiting till he fell asleep talking to little Miss Carrie... Haha... What a joke... Haha... not saying that Carrie is boring... But I was too tired...<br /><br />Wednesday, 11 May<br />Wasted the whole dumb day at home doing nuts... But thank God for Big Ben who came over to comply to my needs... I was needed to stay home since that Dumb Starhub Guy wasn't able to confirm the time... I rejected my band to jam at Jaemus' place... And rejected my friends' OFFERS to go for dinner... I rejected peeps who asked me out for shopping and stuff... Haha... What a day I've spent wasted...<br /><br />Thursday, 12 May<br />Orientation Day... Sound cool ain't? Well, it really was kinda cool... I met up with Carrie in the morn for breakfast before we headed for school... Haha... Couldn't decide what to eat... So I followed Carrie... Told her about my pet wolf [Grey] back in Canada when I was young... Haha... She seems facinated and even more so wanting to leave Singapore... But she proved me wrong by saying that she wouldn't survive without her family... Orientation went kinda well... Met some new peep... Finally caught a glimpse of who Gabrielle is... But still not sure... Anyway... I was laughing and joking all over the place about the CCA performances... Haha... Couldn't believe I was so embarrassed about me knowing how to play a harmonica... Haha... Joked about Abel joining dance companies and stuff... Haha...<br />After all the sitting down, it was time to view the exhibits... We were laughing about the arms of the people in dragon boat being as big as our heads... Then came the Arts and Cultural exhibits... Haha... Liang Jie, Abel and I were approached to join the NRA [ New Revolvant Age], a dance company in school... Haha... Do they think we are that cool...? Then Magnum Force [the cheerleading team] Haha... Thay a buch of noisy people who are lacking of guys... Haha...<br /><br />Friday, 13 May<br />I woke up early without sleeping much... Went to Nike Headquarters at Tampines to work... Haha... Packed the documents into cartons to be sent off... Haha... Cool stuff... Cool Office... Cool People... Cool Shoes... I've got a new pair... Haha... Cool right? Haha... Anyway... Things went bad... Took a taxi home and found that I rushed for nothing because the Starhub guy went off before I left... Haha... Poor me... Rushed like mad... Haha... <br /><br />Today, 14 May<br />At Jame's place again... playing with his drums... and of course exploiting his wireless connection... Haha... Tired now... Lots of things to do during cell group later... Haha... Anyway, I'll end off for now... Write me a note ya?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/12523207-111603282160025199?l=perspectyves.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shoshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14162308588701640950noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12523207.post-1115811942304629232005-05-11T19:11:00.000+08:002005-05-11T20:16:26.056+08:00"Rain down... All around the world we're singing..."<br />"I sing to the bright morning star... Only to You"<br /><br />These two lines keep ringing in my head these two days... Two chunky-turned-shitnaz days I spent at home waiting for Mr Starhub Guy to come over to fix my connection for me so that I can get my wireless network online... Still he had not come yet... But anyway, cool stuff I did these 2 days... I taught Big Ben to play bass... I wrote a new song but don't think I'll be singing it 'coz it's between me and God... I talked to my cell members... Don't you just love them?<br /><br />Draw near...<br />God said draw near... Two cool words from Big Daddy Cool up there... I took out the book He wrote and read... Haha...Miraculously, four hours past but it seems so darn short... I want to read more but well, had some other stuff to do... Time with Him is always like that... But cool stuff He taught me about Mr 'I defeated Goliath'... Haha... <br />The king tried to give David some equipment.... "What do you want, boy? Shield? Sword? Armour?..." But David chosed five smooth stones and his old and trusted sling... An unbelieving king, a big jeering Philistine, and a young trusty shepherd boy... Just a slight twist and there was a smooth stone in between the Philistine's eyes... And 'BAM' down on the ground he fell... Is this cool or what? Haha... Those who laugh at God's power are those that has rocks in the heads...<br /><br />What's more you may ask about what Big Daddy Cool has to say...?<br /><br />'Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.'<br />Psalm 139: 7-8, NIV<br />Our asking "Where is God...?" is like a fish asking "Where is water...?" or a bird asking "Where is air...?" God is everywhere...! Equally present in Peking and Peoria... As active in the lives of Icelanders as in the lives of Newfoundlanders... We cannot find a place where God is not....<br />Cool ain't...? He's watching you duh... Haha... I'm even more glad that He is watching me... Don't be scared unless you're gulity...<br /><br />I had a talk with Ange today... My cool Area Overseer... Haha... She said I'm a nice guy when I say that a couple should share the burden of household chores... I thought every guy would say that... Haha... I'm not that much a nice guy... But anyway, don't you guys think it's cool to share the household burdens together with your lifetime partners? It's like the house belongs to both of you duh... No just one of you... and it's also quality time you two can spend to enhance your relationship... Haha... querky isn't it?<br /><br />Anyway... Ma'Leikum Sha'Lom [it means Peace Be With You, I learned it from Rey... Cool ain't...?]<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/12523207-111581194230462923?l=perspectyves.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shoshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14162308588701640950noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12523207.post-1115432454946669092005-05-07T12:11:00.000+08:002005-05-07T12:11:18.370+08:00Wednesday, 4 May<br />After a day at the studios, went down to YMCA Orchard to see what were the guys doing there... [though I knew they were having some kinda tuition] Then Mr SoTong [Joseph] and I were late for worship rehearsal at Serangoon... Supposedly my guitar's fault as it was too attractive that Mr SoTong had to take it out to play for a little while after his tutoring... Jamming at night was great, but our mutual ordination is still not there I felt... I was worshipping real hard over there and it's real shitnaz... <br /><br />Thursday, 5 May<br />Was at Jaemus' place in the morn to jam some stupid stuff I wrote... Turning out to be cool stuff... We recorded and reviewed it... But due to the file size, sorry Cat, can't send you my new and dumb stuff... Haha... You should have been there girl... You will really laugh till you drop... Thereafter, met up with Ange, Mr SoTong, and Xinyin for core meeting... Cool stuff also.. But not as cool as Jaemus' craps... Haha...<br /><br />Friday, 6 May<br />Crapping all the way in the morn with my traceurs till Bro LJ caught me on MSN when I'm home to go out with Mr Cow [Winston] and Mr SoTong... Mr Cow bought 2 tees while I saw a pair of shorts I want... But can't buy 'coz I told Mum I'm not buying anything from now till before school starts... Cool stuff to promise ain't...?<br /><br />Today, 7 May<br />Now at Parlia Pang's [James] place... Just finish teaching wilson drums, playing 'One Way' the simplest of drum songs... And his fill-ins... Haha... Did my crazy stuff again and again... Going to church now,..<br /><br />I'm so glad I made Cat happy this week by promising to buy her a Crumpler bag this december when she comes back... I'm posting it here not for you guys out there to ask me to buy you one... But for you guys to witness... So that I'll keep my promise... I'm trying very hard to keep my promises made... So help me... Haha...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/12523207-111543245494666909?l=perspectyves.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shoshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14162308588701640950noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12523207.post-1115032178646894202005-05-03T10:10:00.000+08:002005-05-02T19:09:38.646+08:00Woke up early with a deliberate effort, with the thought of seeing God in church. <br />Just a little more of sleep, due to the energy used in the previous day.<br />Waking up again an hour and a half, almost to be late to sing God’s praise.<br />Rushed down to join the congregation with a heart unprepared and the strained and painful back.<br />Never knew what to expect, I stood there in the midst of Your presence to worship. Monkey see, monkey do I thought. <br />But I was always in the wrong.<br />You called my name asking me to feel; to feel the warmth and love You gave.<br />I tear without fail, and sing my heart out aloud.<br />Calling Your name out just like how I was found.<br />Looking at the pastor speak, with joy I thought I received.<br />Words pierced like a sword into my heart, never would I thought I was meant to come.<br />To gain is to lose He said, and a new decision of life I made.<br />Times are lonely; times are bad, times like this made me so sad.<br />Lost I was in the midst of my ‘friends’; no one gave me that helping hand.<br /><br /><br />Now I’m at Brother Wei Yang’s Place for some kinda informal gathering which at first I was uninvited… Hearing everyone saying about it in church today and I was not noticed, I really felt left out… I do admit I really wanted to come down… My best brother Chin Hao asked me down in the end but he did not organize it… I was kinda worried but nevertheless, I followed then to walk around at Sim Lim Square to look for a 200 gigabyte external hard disk… Then to Plaza Singapura, my usual hang out after Cat left for Canada…<br /><br />On my way back to get clothes and stuff, I got a call saying they didn’t know I was coming; my heart sank just like when you left… Real painful I would say… But nevertheless, Liang Jie, my bro, called me back to say that I could go if I wanted to and that explains why I’m here right now… <br /><br />Had lots of stuff to settle in my heart, be it family, ministry and even relations… Relations are the only thing I’m most afraid of and it’s what I’m faced with most of the time… Why God? Why do I always have to go through this and it gets tougher and tougher by the day…? Though I don’t really with what Danny [my youth pastor] said, which was that we guys in youth fellowship are attractive, but it just seems to become more and more true… Guys in the YF are being faced with more and more of these stuff… I just hate it… I already gave it all to God so many times, but things just seemed to be like being sent to the wrong address and sent back down to me… <br /><br />I’m not really sure if my decision to stay in Singapore is good… ‘coz either ways I still get to study my favourite stuff and being by myself most of the time… Only that I get to do the things I did in my childhood if I head back to Canada… I don’t know what to do… Maybe I just have to think a lot more simple… <br /><br />[written at 11.45pm, 1st May but posted at a later time]<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/12523207-111503217864689420?l=perspectyves.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Shoshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14162308588701640950noreply@blogger.com0